Athair

Father

• Cén chaoi a mbeadh a fhios agamsa céard a dhéanfainn—th’éis dom é a inseacht dó—mar nach bhfaca mé m’athair ag caoineadh cheana ariamh. Ariamh! Fiú nuair a maraíodh mo mháthair sa timpiste naoi mí roimhe sin, deoir níor chaoin sé, go bhfios domsa. Táim cinnte nár chaoin mar ba mise a tharraing an drochscéal chuige. Is ba mé freisin a bhí ina fhochair i rith an ama ar fad: lnethanta bacacha úd na sochraide. Níor leagadh aon chúram eile ormsa ach amháin fanacht leis. Ba iad a chuid deartháireacha agus deartháireacha mo mháthar—mo chuid uncaileachaí—a d’iompair an chónra agus a rinne na socruithe sochraide. Ba iad comharsana an bhaile, le treoir ó mo chuid deirfiúracha, a choinnigh stiúir éicint ar chúrsaí timpeall an tí, Sórt tuiscint a bhí ann—cé nár dúradh amach díreach é, gur mise ab fhearr fanacht taobh le m’athair, óir ba mé ab óige: an t-aon duine a bhíodh sa mbaile ó cheann ceann na bliana.

  How would I know what to do — after I had told him—as I had never seen my father cry before. Never! Even when my mother was killed in the accident nine months before, he didn’t cry a tear, as far as I know. I’m sure he didn’t cry because I was the one who brought him the bad news. I was also near him during the whole time: those halting days of the funeral. No other responsibilty was laid upon me except to wait for him. His brothers and my mother’s brothers—my uncles—carried the coffin and made the funeral arrangements. It was the neighbors of the town, with guidance from my sisters, who kept some direction on matters around the house, It was sort of an understanding – although it was not said out loud directly, that I was the best to stay with my father, for I was the youngest: the only person who had been at home from the beginning of the year.

  inseacht = insint	Relation, narration, utterance; version	f
  fochair	Nearness, proximity
  bacach	Lame; Halting, imperfect

• Sin é an fáth a bhfuil mé beagnach cinnte nár shnigh oiread is deoir amháin cosán cam anuas ar a ghrua. Níor shnigh le linn solas feiceálach an lae cibé é. Níor úsáid sé a naipcín póca fiú murar shéid a shrón leis. O, bhí sé an-trína chéile siúráilte, é dodhéanta beagnach aon fhocal a bhaint as. D’imíodh tréimhsí fada tostacha thart gan tada á rá aige ach é ag breathú uaidh—ag stánadh isteach díreach sa tine nó amach uaidh sa [d.l. 22] spás trí fhuinneog na cistine … Ach deoir ghoirt amháin níor tháinig lena ghrua. An seac ba chúis leis, b’fhéidir. An gheit dhamanta a bhain an seac as. Ansin aríst níorbh é m’athair an cineal duine a shamhlófa deora leis, ní áirim caoineadh …
  

  That’s why I’m almost certain that not a single tear made a crooked path down his cheek. It did not flow during the visible light of day, anyhow. He didn’t even use his pocket hankerchief unless he blew his nose with it. Oh, he was certainly very upset, it was almost impossible to get a word out of him. Long silent periods passed without him saying anything but looking away—staring directly into the fire or out from in [d.l. 22] space through the kitchen window… But not one bitter tear came to his cheek. The shock was the cause, perhaps. The damned fright got the shock off[??]. Then again, my father was not the type of person you would imagine with tears, I don’t count crying.

  snigh	Pour (down), flow, course; filter through, percolate.
  cam	Bent, crooked
  feiceálach	Noticeable, conspicuous
  cibé	whoever, whatever, whichever
  siúráilte	sure, certain; dependable
  dodhéanta	Impossible, hard, to do; impracticable, unfeasible
  seac = sioc	frost, shock	m
  geit	Jump, start; fright	f
  damanta	damned
  samhlaigh	Imagine
  áirigh	Count, reckon

• Sin é an fáth ar baineadh geit chomh mór anois asam. Ní geit ach stangadh. Níorbh é an caoineadh féin ba mheasa ar chor ar bith ach an sórt caointe a rinne sé. Ní glanchaoineadh iomlán fírinneach—a bhféadfá a rá gan amhras go mba chaoineadh é—ach cineál pusáile, sniogáil nó seitreach bhacach … sea, seitreach phianmhar dhrogallach sheachantach a bhí ar leathchois. Níor mhair ach dhá mheandar nó trí. Cheapfá, nuair a stop sé go tobann gurb amhlaidh a shloig sé í — an tseitreach — le deacracht, ar nós táibléad mór a mbeadh blas gránna air a chaithfí a thógáil ar ordú dochtúra. Ní hé amháin nar bhreathnaigh sé orm — seachas leathamharc strae, a sciorr díom mar uisce tobair nuair a bhí mé á rá leis ach cheapfá gur ag iarraidh a éadan a choinneáil i bhfolach orm, nó ar a laghad leataobhach uaim, a bhí sé ina dhiaidh sin. B’fhurasta dó ar bhealach, is gan é ar mo chumas – sa breathnú díreach air, ainneoin m’fhiosrachta. É ag braiteoireacht thart. Shuigh mise ansin i mo dhealbh — gan fanta ionam ach teas mo choirp. Níor fhan smid aige: ag ceachtar againn. Is ansin a thuig mé gurbh fhearr an tseitreach de chaoineadh féin ach breith i gceart air, ná an tost. Seans go bhféadfaí[aut] iarracht rud eicínt a dhéanamh faoin gcaoineadh dá mairfeadh. Ach bhí an tost marfach éiginnte, dúshlánach: chomh mall fadálach pianmhar le breith. Bhraith mé i gcaitheamh an ama nach raibh sé ag breathnú i leith orm, fiú nuair a bhí uain aige ar anáil dhomhain nó dhó a shineadh taobh le taobh agus cúpla focal a dhingeadh i dtoll a chéile …

  That is the reason I am so startled now. Not fright but bent. It wasn’t the crying itself that was worst at all but the kind of crying he did. Not a completely true cry—which you could say without a doubt that it was—but a kind of whimpering, dripping, or limping snort… yes, a painful, reluctant, evasive snort that was one-legged. Lasted only two or three seconds. You’d think, when he suddenly stopped that he had swallowed it — the snort — with difficulty, like a large tablet with an ugly taste that had to be taken on a doctor’s order. Not only that he didn’t look at me — except for a stray side look, who slipped off me like well water when I was telling him but you’d think he was trying to keep his face hidden from me, or at least sideways from me, it was after that[??]. It was easy for him in a way, it is not in my power – in looking directly at him, despite my curiosity. He was hesitating. I sat there like a statue — nothing left in me but the heat of my body. His breath did not stay[??]: at either of us. It was then that I realized that he snort of the cry itself was properly judged better tnan silence. There was a chance something could be attempted to do something about the crying if it lasted. But the uncertain deathly silence was uncertain, unyielding: as slow, drawn-out and painful as birth. I felt in the passing of the time that he was not looking at me, even when he had a chance to take a deep breath or two and put a few words together crammed side by side.

  stangadh	Bend, sag; warp, strain; wrench	m
  sniog	drop	f
  seitreach	(Act of) neighing; neigh, whinny; snort	f
  pianmhar	painful
  drogallach	reluctant
  seachantach	Evasive, elusive; distant, diffident
  meandar	instant, second	m
  amhlaidh	thus, so
  slog	Gulp, swallow; draught, swig	m
  sciorr	Slip, slide, slither, skid
  furasta	easy
  ainneoin	notwithstanding, in spite of
  fiosracht	Inquisitiveness, curiosity
  braiteoireacht	(Act of) hesitating, wavering; hesitancy
  smid	Breath, puff; syllable, word	f
  éiginnte	Uncertain, undetermined; indefinite, vague; undecided
  dúshlánach	Challenging, defiant; reckless, foolhardy
  fadálach	Slow, tardy; dilatory, tedious
  uain	Opportune time, free time; occasion; opportunity	f
  dingeadh	Wedging, packing, cramming	m

• “Agus tá tú …” a deir sé, ag stopadh mar a dhéanfadh an focal staic stobarnáilte ina scornach, at nó stad mar a bheadh an focal ag breathnú roimhe, féachaint an mbeadh sábháilte teacht amach — nó agus súil b’fhéidir go ndéarfainnse aríst é — an focal sin a rinne fuaim ghlugarnach ina chluasa tamaillín roimhe sin, focal nach móide a múnlaíodh as a scornach tuaithe féin ariamh. Focal strainséartha … Focal nach raibh fiú nath measúil Gaeilge ann dó nó má bhí, ní in aice láimhe … níor rith sé liom nár fhreagair mé ar chor ar bith é, mise imithe amú thar teorainn, ag póirseáil istigh ina intinn, nó gur phreab a athrá mé.

  “And you are …” he said, stopping as the word would make a stubborn stake in his throat, swell or stop as the word would look before, to see if it would be safe to come out — or expect I would say it again — that word that made a gurgling sound in his ears a little while before, a word that had hardly ever been shaped from his own rural throat. A foreign word… A word for which there wasn’t even a respectable Irish saying or if there was, not not at hand… it didn’t occur me that I didn’t answer it at all, I had gone astray over a border, rummaging in his mind, or that I jumped to repeat.

  staic	Stake, post; Stock; butt, stump	f
  stobarnáilte	stubborn
  scornach	throat	f
  fuaim	sound	f
  glugarnach	Squelching, gurgling (sound)
  múnlaigh	mould; Form, shape, model
  nath	Poem; song, refrain; Proverbial saying, adage; epigram; saw, tag	m
  measúil	Estimable, esteemed; respectable
  teorainn	Boundary, limit; border, frontier	f
  preab	Start, spring, jump; bounce	v
  athrá	Act of repeating; repetition, reiteration	m

• “Agus deir tú liom go bhfuil tú …”

  “Tá,” a deirimse, ag teacht roimhe leath i ngan fhios dom féin chomh focalsparálach céanna, gan tuairim agam an raibh seisean ag dul ag críochnú na habairte, ar an dara timpeall nó nach raibh. [d.l. 23]

  “And you tell me that you are…”

  “Yes,” I say, coming before him half without knowledge and very word-sparingly, I have no idea he was going to finish the sentence, on the second round or not.

  spárálach	Sparing, frugal
  céanna	Very, same

• “Táim,” a deirim aríst de sciotán, mar a rithfeadh an focal i bhfolach orm, ar feadh soicind, mé ag iarraidh aisíoc eicínt a íobairt as folúntas mo thosta.

  “Go sábhála Dia sinn,” a deir sé.“Go sábhála … mac dílis Dé … sinn,” a deir sé aríst agus é mar a bheadh ag tarraingt na bhfocal, ceann ar cheann, aniar as Meicsiceo. Bhraith mé gur mhaith leis dá bhféadfadh sé cur leo, dá mbeadh freagra nó — rud eicint eile a rá — nó dá mbeadh caint shimplí réamhullmhaithe ann a d’fhéadfadh sé a tharraingt chuige. Rud ar bith a bhainfeadh slabhra focal as an gciúnas.
  

  “I am,” I say suddenly, as the word escapes me, for a second, wanting to sacrifice some repayment from the emptiness of my silence.

  “May God save us,” he said. “May the true son of God … save us,” he said again and it’s like pulling the words, one by one, back from Mexico. I felt that he would like it if he could add to them, if there would be an answer or — some other thing to say — or if there was a simple pre-prepared speech that he could draw on. Anything to release a chain of words out of the silence.

  aisíoc	tepayment; restitution, refund	m
  íobairt	sacrifice	f
  folúntas	Vacancy; emptiness, void	m
  ullmhaigh	Make ready, prepare
  slabhra	chain	m

• “An bhfeiceann tú sin anois,” a d’éagaoin sé agus é ag tarraingt anáil fhada d’aer na cistine isteach trína pholláiri agus á raideadh amach aríst le teannadh. “An bhfeiceann td sin anois?”
  

  “Do you see that now,” he moaned as he drew a long breath of kitchen air in through his nostrils and flinging it out again with force. “Do you see that now?”

  éagaoin	Moan, lament, complain
  raideadh = radadh	showeringk pelting; casting, flinging, throwing
  teannadh	Tightening; squeeze, pressure; strain, stress; emphasis; movement	m

• Rug sé ar an mbuicéad guail agus bhain an clár de dhroim an range, gur dhoirt carnáinín guail síos i mullach na tine. Thóg cúpla fód móna as an mála plaisteach 10-10-20 a bhí in aice an range gur shac síos i mbarr aríst iad—ag déanamh caoráin bhriste den phéire deireanach acu faoina ghlúin, lena gcúinne a shaothrú i gcúngacht phacáilte an range béal lán. Seo nós a chleacht sé i gcónaí, an gual agus an mhóin a mheascadh. Bheadh an gual róthe—agus ródhaor ar aon nós, a deireadh sé—agus ba dheacair an mhóin a dheargadh scaití, ná mórán teasa a fháscadh aisti, go háirithe as an gcuid de a bhí fós ina leathspairteach th’éis an drochshamhraidh… D’ardaigh sé an scuaibín láimhe den phionna gur scuab síos sa tine an smúdar seachránach móna a bhí tite ar bharr an range. Lig don chlár ciorclach iarainn sciorradh ar ais ina ghrua go torannach. Tharraing sé anáil dhomhain ard eile, é fos dírithe isteach ar an range.

  He took the coal bucket and removed the cover from the back of the range, that a small heap of coal poured down onto the top of the fire. Took a couple of peat sods from the 10-10-20 plastic bag that was near the range which he packed down on the top again — making broken fragments of the last pair of them under his knee, working in their corner of the packed congestion of the full mouth of the range. This custom he always practiced, mixing the coal and the peat. The coal would be too hot — and too expensive anyway, he would say— and it was sometimes difficult to light the turf, to[??] squeeze much heat out of it, especially from the part of it that was still half soggy after the bad summer… He lifted the hand broom from the peg to sweep down into the fire the stray mouldy sod that had fallen on top of the range. Let the circular iron lid slide noisily back into its frame. He took another deep breath, still focused on the range.

  gual	coal	m
  doirt	pour
  carnán	(Small) heap, mound	m
  mullach	top, summit	m
  fód	sod	m
  móin	Turf, peat	f gs móna
  sac	Put in sack, pack	v
  caorán	Fragment, small sod, of turf	m
  cúinne	Corner; angle, nook	m
  saothrú	laboring; Cultivation; earnings, wages
  cúngach	Narrow space, congestion	m
  cleacht	Perform habitually; be, become, accustomed to; practice; rehearse
  nós	Custom; manner, style; habit	m
  deargadh	Reddening; blushing; Glow(ing), light(ing); Bloodying; wounding, chafing; Soil-turning, digging.	m
  fáscadh	press, squeeze	m
  teas	heat	m
  pionna	pin, peg	m
  smúdar	Mouldered, powdered, matter; dust, grit	m
  seachránach	Wandering, straying; Aberrant; misguided, erroneous; delusive; (Of mind) Deranged, distracted.
  sciorradh	Slip, slide, skid	m

• “Agus ar inis tú do do chuid deirfiúrachai faoi seo …”

  “D’inis … nuair a bhí siad sa mbaile sa samhradh, an oíche sul má d’fhill siad ar Shasana.”

  Stop sé soicind, agus é fós leathchromtha isteach os cionn an range. D’oscail sé a bhéal. Dhún aríst é gan tada a rá mar a dhéanfadh iasc órga a bheadh timpeallaithe ag uisce i mbabhla gloine. Ba ar an dara hoscailt dá bhéal a léim an abairt chainte amach ina dhá stráca thar an tocht plúchtach.

  “Agus do mháthair … an raibh a fhios aicise?”

  “And have you told your sisters about this.”

  “Told … when they were in town in the summer, the night before they returned to England.”

  He stopped for a second, still half bent over the range. He opened his mouth. He closed it again without saying anything like a goldfish surrounded by water in a glass bowl. It was on the second opening of his mouth that the spoken sentence jumped out in two strips over the stuffy catch [in his throat].

  “And your mother … did she know?”

  sul má = sula	before, lest
  stráca = stráice	strip
  tocht	mattress; blockage, obstruction	m
  plúchtach	Suffocating, stifling, stuffy.

• “Níl a fhios agam.” Agus duirt mé ansin. “Bíonn a fhios ag máithreacha i bhfad níos mó ná mar a insítear dóibh.”

  “Ó bíonn a fhios, bíonn a fhios … Beannacht Dé le hanamacha na marbh.” Rinne sé leathchomhartha místuama na croise air féin, “Ach ni bhíonn a fhios ag aithreacha tada—ní bhíonn a fhios ag aithreacha tada nó go mbíonn chuile fhocal spelleáilte amach dóibh.” [d.l. 24]

  “I don’t know.” Agus duirt mé ansin. “Mothers know a lot more than is told to them.” He made the sign of the cross upon himself half bent over clumsily, “But fathers don’t know anything—fathers don’t know anything unless every word is spelled out for them.”

  “Oh he knows, he knows … God’s blessing on the souls of the dead.”

  místuama	Thoughtless, impractical, imprudent; Clumsy

• Bhi sé thuas ag an mbord faoi seo agus é th’éis braon beag d’uisce an tobair a bhí sa mbuicéad a chur sa geiteal, citeal a bhí sách lán cheana féin. Leag ar ais ar bharr an range é mar a mbeadh ag fiuchadh leis le haghaidh an tae, nuair a d’fhillfeadh ó bhleán. B’fhearr leis i gcónai an tae a dhéanamh le huisce an tobair, fiuchta sa seanchiteal, ná a bheith i dtuilleamaí uisce an tap agus an chitil leictrigh, seachas moch ar maidin nó nuair nach mbíodh uain fanacht. Shábhálfadh electric freisin a deireadh sé. Níor bhain mo mháthair fiú as an gcleachtadh sin é. B’fhearr léise dá gcaithfí amach an range ar fad, arae bhí an sorn leictreach in ann chuile ní a dhéanamh, i bhfad níos rialta is níos staidéarai a deireadh sí — dinnéar, cócaireacht, bruith, bácáil, bainne na laonta a théamh … Bheadh nó go mbeadh gearradh tobann cumhachta ann, a deireadh sé, le linn stoirme nó tintrí. Nuair ba ghéire a theastódh electric, bfhéidir go mbeifeá da uireasa. Chasfadh sé linne aríst é ar bhealach ceanúil aon uair a bhíodh … “Anois nach maith daoibh agaibh an seanrange.”

  He was up at the table by now and having put a small drop of the well water that was in the bucket into the kettle, a kettle that was already quite full. Put it back on top of the range where it would boil for the tea, when he would return from milking. He always preferred to make the tea with well water, boiled in the old kettle, than be dependent on tap water and the electric kettle, except early in the morning or when there was no time to wait. Electric would also save him, he would say. Even my mother did not get out of that practice. It would have been better for her if the whole range was thrown out, the electric stove was able to do everything, much more regularly and steadily she would say — dinner, cooking, boiling, baking, heating the milk of the calves… There would or would be a sudden power cut, he would say, during a storm or lightning.. When electricity was sharply needed, you might be without it. He would repeat it to us in a loving way any time there was … “Now you don’t like that you have the old range.”

  fiuchadh	Boiling, boil	m
  bleán	Yield of milk; milking	m
  tuilleamaí	dependence	m
  sábháil	Save; Rescue, deliver; Preserve, secur
  arae	For, because; however
  sorn	furnace, stove	m
  staidéar	(Act of) studying; study; Steadiness, level-headedness, sense; …
  teastaigh	Be wanted, needed
  géire	sharpness; Steepness; Keenness; Shrillness; Sourness; Briskness	f
  uireasa	Lack, want, absence, deficiency	f
  lao	(young) calf	m
  ceanúil	Loving, affectionate

• Tharraing sé chuige an pócar. D’oscail comhla uachtarach an range. Shac isteach ann é go sáiteach ag iarraidh an tine a ghríosú le lasrachaí a tharraingt aníos óna broinn dá mb’fhéidir. Nuair nach raibh an ghríosach ag tabhairt mórán d’aisfhreagra air, chas go místuama an murlán ar uachtar an range, a spreag sórt tarraingt ón simléar. Shac an tine aríst cúpla babhta—beagán níos doimhne an geábh seo, ag iarraidh pasáiste a dhéanamh isteach don aer. Ba ghearr go raibh lasrachaí damhsacha gormdhearga ag tabhairt líochán fada do na fóid dhubha agus ag sioscadh go léimneach ar dhromanna na gcloch crua guail—go cúthaileach ar dtús ach ag bailiú misnigh is nirt. Dhún sé an chomhla de phlop buacach, ag casadh an mhurláin go daingean lena chiotóg. Chuir sé an pócar ar ais ina áit féin sa gcúinne.

  He pulled the poker to him. He opened the top shutter of the range, He thrust into it intrusively trying to inflame the fire to draw flames up from within if possible. When the embers wasn’t giving him much of a response, he clumsily turned the knob on the top of the range, which prompted a sort of draft from the chimney. He packed the fire a few times—a little deeper this time, trying to make a passage for air. Soon dancing blue-red flames were licking the black sods and sizzling an jumping on the ridges of the hard coals—diffidently at first but gathering courage and power. He closed the shutter with a victorious plop, turning the knob strongly with his left hand. He put the poker back in its place in the corner.

  comhla	door-leaf; shutter;valve	f
  sac	Put in sack, pack; Cram, stuff; Thrust, shove
  sáiteach	Thrusting, stabbing; intrusive; nagging
  gríosaigh	Fire, inflame; spur, incite (to action)
  lasair	Flame, blaze	f
  broinn	womb, bowels	f
  gríosach	Hot ashes, embers	f
  aisfhreagra	Back answer, retort	m
  místuama	Thoughtless, impractical, imprudent; clumsy
  murlán	knob	m
  spreag	Urge, incite; arouse, inspire; prompt, encourage.
  geábh	(Short) run, (quick) trip, (hurried) spell of activity	mi>
  cúthaileacht	Shyness; diffidence	f
  misneach	courage	m gs misnigh
  neart	Strength; force, power	m gs nirt
  bailiú	Collection; accumulation; gathering	m
  daingean	Fortified, solid; strong, secure
  ciotóg	left hand	f

• “Agus céard faoi Shíle Mhicí Beag,” ar sé go tobann, mar a bheadh iontas air nár chuimbnigh sé fiafrú fúithi[??] roimhe sin, “Nach raibh tú ag dul amach le Síle cupla bliain ó shin,” a raid[??] sé, dóchas faiteach éiginnte ina ghlór.

  “Bhí… sórt,” a d’fhreagair mé go stadach. Thuig mé narbh aon fhreagra é sin, ach bhí sé ag cinnt orm tacú leis ag an nóiméad sin.

  “Cén sórt, bhí sórt,” a dúirt sé arist. “Bhí nó ní raibh. Nár chaith sí bliain ag tarraingt anseo, agus cibé cén fhad roimhe sin … Cén chúis gur fhág sí Tomáisín Tom Mary, mura le dhul amach leatsa é?” Bhí sé ag stánadh ar an raca a bhí os cionn an range.

  “Ach ní raibh mé ach … ní raibh mé ach ocht mbliana déag d’aois an t-am sin,” dúirt mé, ag athrú m’intinne. “Ni bhíonn a fhios ag duine ag an aois sin céard a bhíonn uaidh, ná cá mbíonn a thriall,” a chuir mé leis. [d.l. 25]
  

  “And what about Sheila Little Micky,” he said suddenly, as if he were surprised that he had not remembered to inquire about her her before, “Weren’t you going out with Chile a couple of years ago,” he said, timid uncertain hope in his voice.

  “I was… sort of,” I answered haltingly. I realized that was no answer, but he was making sure I supported him at that moment.

  “What sort, was sort of,” he said again. “It was or it wasn’t. Didn’t she spend a year coming[??] here, and however long before that…Why did she leave Tomásín Tom Mary, if not to go out with you?” He was staring at the rack above the range.

  “But I was only … I was only eighteen years old then,” I said, changing my mind. “A person at that age does not know what he wants, nor where he goes,” I added.

  dóchas	Hope; expectation, trust.	m
  éiginnte	Uncertain, undetermined; indefinite, vague; undecided
  faiteach	Fearful, apprehensive; timid, shy
  stadach	Faltering, stammering
  cinn	Fix, determine, decree	va cinnt
  tacú	support	m(?)
  triall	Journey, expedition	m

• “Ach bíonn a fhios ag duine atá dha bhliain is fiche, is dóigh! Bíonn a fhios ag duine chuile shórt faoin saol nuair a bhíonn sé dhá bhlian is fiche.”

  “Níl sé baileach chomh simplí sin,” a dúirt mé, iontas orm liom féin gur tháinig mé leath roimhe.

  “Ó cinnte níl sé simplí. Níl ná simplí”

  “But a twenty-two-year-old knows, I suppose! Every sort of person knows a lot about life when they are twenty-two years old.”

  “It’s not quite that simple,” I said, I surprised myself that I came halfway before him.

  “Oh sure it’s not simple. Nothing is simple”

  baileach	exactly

• Bhrúigh sé an citeal go leataobh, agus chroch an clár de bharr an range aríst, mar chineál leithscéal go bhfeicfeadh sé an raibh an tine ag lasadh i gcónai. Bhí .

  “Bhi mé ag dul amach léi, mar nach raibh a fhios agam… mar nach raibh a fhios agam céard ba cheart dom a dhéanamh, mar go raibh chuile dhuine eile de na leaids ag dul amach le cailín eicínt …”

  “O bhí …”

  He pushed the kettle aside, and hung the board from the range again, He pushed the kettle aside, and hung the board from the range again, as a kind of excuse to see if the fire was still burning. It was.

  “I was going out with her, because I didn’t know… because I didn’t know what to do, because every other one of the lads was going out with some girl…”

  “Oh they was…”

• “D’iarr mé i dtosach í mar go raibh duine eicínt uaim le tabhairt chuig social na scoile. Ní fhéadfainn dul ann asam féin. Bheadh sé aisteach dá dtabharfainn Máirín né Eilín liom. Ní thiocfaidis liom ar aon nós. Ni fhéadfainn fanacht sa mbaile, nó is mé an t-aon duine den rang a bheadh ar iarraidh … Céard eile a d’théadfainn a dhéanamh?” a deirim, iontas orm go raibh mé th’éis an méid sin cainte a chur díom.
  

  “I asked her at first because I needed someone to take to the school social. I couldn’t go there by myself. It would be strange if I brought Máirín or Elín with me. They wouldn’t come with me anyway. What else could I do?” I say, I’m surprised after I had said that much.

  ar iarraidh	missing

• “Ca bhfios domsa céard a d’fhéadfá a dhéanamh. Nach bhféadfá bheith ar nós chuile dhuine eile … sin, sin, nó fanacht sa mbaile.” Bhí cling ina ghuth nuair a dúirt sé an focal baile.

  “Ni fhéadfainn,” a deir mé, “ní fhéadfainn go deo … Ní hé nar thriail mé …” Cheap mé go mb’fhearr dom gan dul isteach sa scéal níos faide ná níos mé a rá. Faitios nach dtuigfeadh sé.

  “Agus sin é anois a thugann suas go Bleá Cliath thú, chomh minic sin,” sástacht shiúráilte ina ghlór go raibh an méid sin oibrithe amach aige dó féin.

  “’Sé…’sé,is dóigh.” Céard eile a d’fhéadfainn a rá, a smaoinigh mé.
  

  “Ca bhfios domsa céard a d’fhéadfá a dhéanamh. Nach bhféadfá bheith ar nós chuile dhuine eile … sin, sin, nó fanacht sa mbaile.” There was a ring in his voice when he said the word home.

  “I couldn’t,” I say, “I never could… Not that I tried…” I thought I’d better not go into the story any further than say more.

  “And that’s what brings you up to Dublin, so often,” certain satisfaction in his voice that he had worked that much out for himself.

  “It is…it is, I suppose.” What else could I say, I thought.

  go deo	ever, never [w. neg]
  triail1	Trial, test	f
  sástacht	Satisfaction	f
  siúráilte	Sure, certain

• “Agus muide ar fad cinnte gur bean a bhí thuas agat ann. Daoine ag fiafrú díomsa ar cuireadh in aithne dhúinn fós í… nó cá fhad eile go bhfeicfeadh muid í, Aintin Nóra ag fiafrú ar an bhfón an lá cheana cá fhad ó go mbeadh an chéad bhainis eile againn …ag meabhrú nár mhór fanacht bliain ar a laghad th’éis bhás do mháthar.”

  “Ní gá d’Aintin Nóra aon imní bheith uirthi fúmsa, breá nár phós sí féin ariamh más in é an chaoi é,” a deirimse, aiféal láithreach orm nuair a bhí sé ráite agam, faoin ngliceas a bhí i mo chuid cainte.

  “Suas go Bleá Cliath! Huth.” Leis féin a bhí sé ag caint anois. “Tá Bleá Cliath aisteach agus contúirteach,” a chuir sé leis, ar bhealach nár éiligh freagra. [d.l. 26]
  

  “And we are all sure that you had a woman up there. People asking me if we had been introduced to her yet… or how long until we see her, Aunt Nóra asking on the phone the day before how long it woud be until our next wedding… remembering that you had to wait at least a year after your mother’s death.”

  “Aunt Nóra need not worry about me, it’s fine that she never married herself if that’s how it is,” I say, I immediately regretted it when I had said it, because of the snarkiness in my speech.

  “Up to Dublin! Huh.” He was talking to himself now. “Dublin is strange and dangerous,” he added, in a way that did not require an answer.

  meabhrú	Memorization; Meditation, reflection; Perception, feeling	m
  aiféala	Regret, remorse	m
  gliceas	Cleverness, ingenuity; shrewdness, sagacity; craftiness, cunning	m
  contúirteach	contúirteach
  éiligh	Claim, demand

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